Navigating the Holiday Season: A Guide to Thriving as a Recovering Addict

An article by Renee W.

I’ll never forget my first sober holiday season.

The holidays are painted as a time of joy—twinkling lights, cheerful music, and family gatherings. For me, my first sober holiday felt like walking into a room full of laughter and light, only to find the door locked behind me. I tried focusing on the warmth and comfort of the season, but there wasn’t any.

 It was intense.

I felt like an outsider in my own life. Seeing people casually sip wine and clink glasses filled me with resentment—toward them, toward the hosts, toward myself. Why couldn’t I be normal?

I gripped my water glass like a lifeline, sweating as the room closed in. Laughter and music swirled around me. I had never felt so alone.

I spent most of those gatherings counting down the minutes until I could leave. I silently battled the guilt of disappointing others if I felt too soon—or worse, skipped the event entirely. It never even crossed my mind that I had options.

Now, with years of recovery behind me, I know this: the holidays don’t have to feel like this.

Thriving during the holiday isn’t just possible—it’s empowering.

You don’t have to lose yourself during the holidays. With a little planning, self-compassion, and support, you can absolutely navigate the season with your sobriety—and sanity—intact.

Here’s how:

1. Be unapologetically selfish

In recovery, being selfish is non-negotiable. Putting your sobriety first is the ultimate act of self-love.

What does this look like in action?

Set boundaries:

If attending a party will trigger cravings or make you uncomfortable, it’s okay to decline the invite. Politely declining doesn’t make you rude; it makes you smart. If someone doesn’t understand, that’s their issue—not yours.

Choose recovery over obligation:

Every “no” you say to protect your sobriety is a “yes” to your peace. It’s how you survive in recovery. You’re not responsible for meeting anyone else’s expectations. Prioritize what keeps you centered, even if it means disappointing others. Trust me when I say it gets easier with practice.

2. Prepare like a pro

Let’s say that you have weighed the pros and cons of attending a particular holiday party, and you have decided to go. That’s great, but it’s time to prepare how to stay grounded and in control.

Plan ahead:

Decide in advance how long you’ll stay and what you’ll do if you feel comfortable. Think ahead about exit strategies and have a few excuses ready—though a simple “I need to head out” works perfectly. Just knowing that you can leave at any time is enough to ease anxiety.

Communicate your needs:

Talk to supportive friends or family ahead of time about your boundaries. I must admit, when I first did this, it felt awkward. That’s okay though, because with practice I got used to communicating my needs. I felt less pressure knowing someone had my back.

3. Lean on your support system

The holidays are not the time to be alone! “As the African proverb says, ‘If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.’ Recovery is no different.

Stay connected:

If you don’t have a support system, now’s the time to create one. If you feel like you don’t have family support, then find others in recovery. If your friends aren’t supportive, then find new friends.

Twelve-step meetings are a great place to find support systems. Most of my friends these days are people that I’ve met through Alcoholics Anonymous. I have their phone numbers saved in my phone and lean on these people regularly. I can’t tell you how many times a simple conversation with a recovery friend has helped me through tough moments.

Lean on your network of recovery friends, family, or professionals. If you’re struggling, reaching out to a therapist or counselor can also be a game changer. There’s no shame in asking for help. As Brené Brown says, “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weaknesses.”

4. Gain strength through self-care

Self-care is your secret weapon in recovery.

What does this look like in action?

Move your body:

I cannot stress the importance of exercise as a self-care tool. Exercise isn’t just about fitness. It’s also therapy for your mind and your mood. Exercise releases endorphins that combats stress and boosts your mood. Don’t overthink exercise. Take a brisk walk, do some yoga, dance around your living room. Anything goes.

Fuel your body:

Yes, it’s the holidays, and sweets are plentiful. Indulge in some, but don’t overdo it, as overindulging in sugar can leave you irritable or more vulnerable to cravings. Be mindful of what you eat and remember the importance of good nutrition for your mental health.

Rest up:

The holidays can be draining, so don’t skimp on sleep. Give yourself permission to take breaks or say “no” to commitments when you need downtime. Rest is productive!

I have left plenty of events where I felt uncomfortable. I did not feel bad about it. After the third or fourth party, which I left early, my confidence started to build. Think about it this way: social events are optional. They are supposed to be fun. You don’t HAVE to socialise if you aren’t feeling it.

5. Turn triggers into triumphs

According to the American Psychological Association, 41% of people report increased stress during the holidays. For those in recovery, this stress can magnify triggers. Recognizing this is key to navigating the season with your sobriety intact.

Triggers are sneaky—sometimes they just appear out of nowhere with no warning. The good news? You don’t have to face them unprepared. Sometimes, the simple act of thinking ahead makes all the difference.

Practice saying no:

If someone offers you a drink, a simple, “No, thanks—I don’t drink” is more than enough. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. If you don’t want to say “I don’t drink,” then just say “no thank you.”

Shift your focus:

Shift your mindset by focusing on what you are grateful for. Remind yourself of the progress you’ve made and the new life you’re building—gratitude is one of the most powerful tools in your recovery toolbox.

Have backup:

Keep a non-alcoholic drink in your hand—it’s an easy way to feel more at ease.

6. These are your holidays—Create your own traditions

Understanding that the holidays are mine just as they are everyone else’s helped me reinvent what joy looked like to me. You can do the same. Here are some ideas:

Volunteer:

Giving back not only fills your heart but also keeps you grounded. Maybe you would like to serve meals at a shelter or donate gifts to those who need them. These simple acts of kindness can transform your holidays.

Get creative:

Channel your energy into something meaningful, like crafting, baking, or writing. Creating something from scratch is not only therapeutic but deeply fulfilling. I started doing jigsaw puzzles during the holidays, but now I do them all year round.

Redefine fun:

Plan sober-friendly activities like a holiday movie marathon, a game night, or maybe a group hike. Surround yourself with people who uplift you.

7. Celebrate your wins

Did you know that every year of sobriety reduces the risk of relapse by 9%? Each holiday season you get through sober is not just a win—it’s a step closer to lifelong recovery.

As the holidays wind down, take some time to reflect on what went well. Each trigger you resisted, every boundary you kept, and every moment you chose sobriety is a victory. And worth celebrating.

Thriving during the holidays doesn’t mean being perfect. It means showing up for yourself, day by day.

This is my sixth consecutive sober holiday season, and I’m nowhere near as frazzled as I was six years ago. Still, I keep all my recovery tools close by. 

• If I am uncomfortable at a holiday get-together, I just leave. 
• I stay close to my support group. 
• I practise self-care every day by writing, exercising, and checking in with myself.

I understand how hard it was for me to get this far, and I protect my sobriety at all costs. You can too.

How can White River Manor help?

At White River Manor, we know the holidays can be a minefield for those in recovery. That’s why we offer a supportive environment tailored to your needs. Whether you’re looking for therapy to build resilience or simply need a safe space to reset, we’ve got you covered!

Our evidence-based therapies and supportive community provide the tools you need to thrive—not just during the holidays, but year-round.

Contact us today to explore our personalised treatment plans and supportive community. You deserve a season full of peace, health, and happiness. We are happy to help you get there.